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Evictions
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A T T E N T I O N
Here is your ticket to |
A simple electrical cover plate is your ticket to free rent. It’s just like the ones in your apartment.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE OF COVER PLATE
1. Simply unscrew one of the electrical cover plates in your apartment from the wall. Presto! A code violation.
2. Now call the health inspector to redeem your free-rent coupon.
3. Stop paying rent immediately. You are legally entitled to not pay any rent at all until this simple code violation is repaired.
4. When your landperson wants to make the repair, make an appointment only at your convenience, sometime next week or next month. If your housing provider knocks at your door, now is not a convenient time.
5. Don’t start paying rent until your apartment is code-perfect. Often, when one code violation gets fixed, another one shows up.
6. Use your free-rent ticket especially if you have already stopped paying rent and got an eviction notice from your landperson. Your free-rent ticket turns your evictable nonpayment of rent into non-evictable “rent withholding.”
7. Just let your unpaid rent pile up in your bank account. Then, if you have to move, you have a tidy nest egg to start your new life with.
8. Don’t worry. It’s almost impossible for your housing provider to get this money back from you. Just leave town with it.
BONUS #1. Send your landperson a bill for the reduced value of your apartment because of the code violation. That’s right. Each code violation entitles you to a rent refund. Look around. Be creative. You may find dozens of code violations, just like this one, all around your apartment.
BONUS #2. If your landperson takes a long time to make the repair(s), he or she is obviously negligent. You are legally entitled to triple damages and attorney’s fees. You have just hit the jackpot. Who cares if you eventually have to move out of your damaged, worthless apartment?
TOO HARD? You’d rather not go through all the trouble of getting your landperson to do all those repairs? Just tell your landperson you will gladly move out upon receiving $10,000. Your landperson will thank you for such a good deal.